Hello loves. I have a shorty for you today. The day I’m recording this is September 8, 2022 and next week I’ll be in Vermont at a grief retreat so there won’t be a recorded episode next week; I’ll pick up again on September 23rd. Just a heads up on that.
What I’m offering today…. I encourage you to think of this as a love offering, from me to you - imagine it’s a gift you can hold in your hands and that its size and shape and weight and appearance are sensually pleasing to you - in my mind, it’s ruby red, the size and shape of an apple, but made of beautiful, smooth crystal, and it’s hinged - you can open it an access the inside, too. That’s an image I’m holding in my mind, but since it’s for you, YOU can imagine what it looks and feels like. Just make sure you can carry it lightly, so it’s not something you need to put down because it’s too much.
So, you know how almost every summary from someone who has gone through an event that has shown them the truth of existence - you know, whether it’s a cathartic psychedelic trip, or a near death experience or an extreme physical and/or psychological or spiritual trial they’ve survived…
The survivor comes out from that, with a knowing so profound for them that their voice trembles when they say it, tears stream down their face, it’s so powerful for them, it’s almost devastating. And here’s what that knowing says, pretty much universally:
That everything is love, and that love is profound and unwavering and the most powerful force there is.
That we are a part of everything else, in oneness with everyone and everything in existence and that while we are individually more powerful than we’ll ever understand, our significance is also no more than that of a blade of grass or a field mouse.
And that only when we give over our need to control, let go, trust will we find true peace.
This is universally the message we’re given.
Simple.
Profound.
Powerful.
And it’s rarely enough for us. We’re like: What? That’s IT?
We dismiss it.
Surely there has to be something more complicated than that.
Surely there’s something that we have to strive for and work for.
Surely THAT can’t be all there is, because if that were true…what the fuck would be the point of all our struggle and suffering and working and producing and desiring and achieving and so on and so on?
We want themes of redemption. We want to hear the secret to rising above, to conquering, to overcoming, to wielding power.
Maybe we don’t even want to admit it fully to ourselves, but we want something that will instruct us in how we can be more and get more.
And that’s exactly what keeps us from accessing what we’re REALLY looking for but can’t acknowledge.
We have an emptiness inside of us that we think will be filled with things of the world. Money. Power. Success. Admiration. The envy of others. They allegiance of others. Things, acquisitions. Image.
Knowledge. Power over. Control over. Safety from. Certainty that…you know, dot dot dot…that we will always be or have something or another
But we can and will never fill our emptiness with any of this.
We know this, but we all keep trying.
Because to surrender to the true and profound feels far too scary for us.
We all want meaning in our lives. We want our lives - our selves - to matter.
AND we think that mattering has to come through what we do and have and how we appear.
Human. Nature.
We can forgive ourselves for being human…
But we don’t have to stay permanently lost in the illusions that keep us churning and burning for something that just leads to more emptiness, more hunger.
So I give you this gift, this beautiful thing to hold in your hands today…
The simplest of gifts.
That you are profoundly loved and lovable not for what you do or have or how you appear, but for the fact that you exist.
That you are a part of the fabric, the beautiful and complex web that holds everything.
That you are more powerful than you will ever understand, and you share that power with every living thing,
And that you do not need to try to control everything or anything….because you can’t. Control is an illusion.
Let yourself bristle at that. Roll your eyes at it. Want to dismiss it. It’s too simple, right? It’s okay if you think that.
And then, let go, just for a few moments, of the need for there to be something more, something tangible that will fill you, and let THAT - your lovability, your significance, your Belonging fill you, and just notice what happens…when you’re enough and significant and powerful and loved just for being.
That’s what I have for you today my friend.
I love you.